the news from surgery

So, the reunion was great. Had a sweet time (individually and in groups) with Joce, with Alex, with Deanna, with Santosh & Archana, with Heidi, and with other folks it was great to connect with. That being wrapped up, I decide to head out early Monday and drive to Duluth to be there in time for the surgery.

I get there 45 minutes before the surgery; just in time to catch him as he's being wheeled to prep. Amy and I (and 2 other folks from the church in Iron River) wait with him and talk to him. He looks pale, and is somewhat apprehensive about the surgery. The surgeon, the nurse & the anesthesiologist all talk to us about what they will be doing and answer questions. The surgeon tells us not to watch the clock; that he won't. He's a perfectionist and will do everything he can.

We tell him we love him and head out.

We hang around the waiting room for a while. I'm exhausted so Amy tells me to go sleep on his hospital bed. A nurse wakes me with a tap on the door and tells me where to find Amy. On the way to her, I run into some folks who tell me that the news isn't good. Amy's in a small, private waiting room with Roberta, her good friend. They tell me that he has cancer everywhere, and that it's terminal.

We go to a different waiting room near where his new bed will be when he recovers from surgery (on a med/surg floor). They say the surgeon will avoid him as he's regaining consciousness. Amy and I have the choice of whether to tell him ourselves or have the surgeon tell him. We say we want to tell him ourselves.

When he arrives, we wait for everyone to leave/get him settled. He asks hopefully what the results are. Amy tells him while I fill in a few details. He says, "oh really".

Later, the surgeon meets up with the three of us and tell us that the cancer has spread everywhere in his abdomen. Like rice scattered through a room. He can pick up the individual grains, but it's microscopic, and he still wouldn't be able to get it in any way that wouldn't have it growing back right away. He says it's been in there 'a long time'. And he says that with chemo he would guess Dad has 6-12 months to live. Without it - 2 to 6.

We spend time just being there. Roberta "guards" the door, so we can just have time to be there. He tells us he's not surprised at the diagnosis. He's not afraid of death, and he's glad that this gives him the opportunity to take care of Amy (get things settled for her before he's gone). Amy calls several "point" people who can share the news with others who know him.

I go out and call Paula, Tom, Katie, Ben and Jody. I finally cry.

Amy & I tell him we love him and drive back to Iron River for the night.