Tonight I went out to watch the sun set. I saw that it had a way to go before setting, so I decided to run to my favorite gravel pile (can you have a favorite gravel pile?) to watch it from there. I'm usually more of a rambler than a runner, but this time I ran pretty much the whole way only to miss it when I got to the top; the sun had already sunk below the trees. I sat there and watched the sky change colors and thought about Things. (ok, Amy liked this post, so when I showed her "the" gravel pile, she wanted me to climb it so she could take a picture. Here it is!)
Thing the First: You.
I didn’t realize, when I started logging this sequence of events, how much it really would become a tribute to my Dad because of all you had to share about him. I hope you realize how much it’s meant to Amy and to me to receive your responses, prayers, memories, and encouraging thoughts throughout each day. We treasure them, and I’m guessing others who were close to my Dad find them equally as encouraging. I like knowing they’re “captured” – that I’ll be able to go back again later and re-absorb them. Thank you.
Thing the Second: missed sunsets.
I’ve thought of many things I wish I had done for or with my Dad while he was still around. I’m dealing with the messiness of unanswered questions, unresolved problems, unpreached sermons, unharvested gardens… and lots more things. Unbuilt houses, unexplored woods, unhunted deer, and unmet people in need. I struggle with grieving. I know I have so much to be thankful for, and yet it’s hard not to focus on the loss. Do I celebrate that I “got” 54 (well, 32) years with him on this earth, or do I weep at knowing I don’t get him till he’s 90? Do I smile about the last few years of improving relationship with him, or choke at the idea that if I get married, he won’t be at my wedding or meet my kids? Do I rejoice that he’s in heaven, or ache that I’m probably still on this earth for a while yet?
Here are the thoughts I was able to glean from the gravel pile and the beautiful fading sky: he left this world, as far as I can tell, at peace with everyone so far as it was up to him. I say this to you who are grieving and to myself: he left with great love and few regrets. He would not want us to kick ourselves for opportunities missed. He would want us to celebrate what we had, and then, I think, to pick up where he left off. Tonight, the sun was gone and I could see only the colors that it left in the sky. But tomorrow the sun will return, and I think I have some woods to explore and people to connect with and love. Any volunteers for the other stuff?
15 comments:
Beautiful... Ang, thank you for sharing your Dad with all of us!
I can't wait to see you.
Katie
The kids and I have been sitting here talking about Dale this morning, and just remembering.
I look forward to seeing you again Angie. Please send Amy all of our love.
Chelle & kids
Dear Amy,
We are sorry for your loss and ache for our own. Dale was such a caring soul. Always concerned about everyone else, first. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for joining our family and all the happy years you spent with Dale.
Dear Angie,
May you feel comfort and peace...what special times you had with your father. He will now be watching you from above, and may he be enjoying the reunion with all who have gone before, including both our fathers.
Hugs,
Pam, David, Emily and Shane Borum
Angela do you have an e-mail address so we can keep in touch, other than this format?
Looking foreward to seeing you later.
Roberta
Angela,
I've been following your blog the week before last, and now I'm catching up after being away for a week. It seems so much happened in a short week.
I loved reading your reflection today, and thought, "that's my Angela writing, thinking, there..."
I've been praying for you and thinking of you.
love
jessica (from LU, in case you have other Jessica's in your life)
Dearest Ang, This blog has ment so much to me. I've missed you so much over these past years. I was always certian though that you would find your way back to your dad,(you were always such buds) I say, don't struggle with the grief, if you feel like grieving, grieve. If you feel like dancing before the Lord in celebration, dance. My heart is heavy this week, for you, for Amy, for the loss of a brother, yet i bless the Lord....He is our rock, and understands our every emotion. still love you like a daughter, Annie
Angela,
Journaling and sharing is an awesome tool. I hope this will help lessen the pain in your grieving process with your dad.
One day at a time... sometimes, one hour at a time.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Cathy Cz
Angie,
We don't know each other, but I knew your dad. I am a member of his church and absolutely loved to hear him preach. I admit I didn't go every sunday like I should have, but he never held that against me. He knew I had my own struggles. Just like you, I recently lost my father to cancer. I watched him get thinner and thinner until eventually it took over his body and he was gone. I completely understand what you are going through and am praying for you.
Angie and Amy:
We grieve with you! I was thinking on Saturday that I should have posted something and then it was too late.
Mike Shay and I were talking the week after he was up there to lead worship service. That was before we knew there was a blog. As Mike shared what was happening I thought, "Dale is going to show people how to die with grace." And he did - for the whole world to see as a testimony to the God that he served so faithfuly.
Memories? There are so many. Angie, I can remember when Jeff and I babysat you kids and you had to show us where the paddle was before your parents left...I told them we wouldn't need it and we didn't!
I think every memory I have of Dale was with a smile on his face! His Christmas letter was the first one we wanted to see that he sent to Jeff's parents!
I will never forget when he was leading Bible studies on Sunday night a LONG time ago how he was able to reach to all ages as he spoke. I can remember Michael (who is now 24) sitting spellbound as Dale spoke - soaking in every word! He would have been in grade school at the time.
Amy, one of my favorite memories is of your wedding and Dale grinning from ear to ear as he sang, "I Will Be There". And then watching him put his wedding band on the wrong hand!!!! I think Dale knew how to bring out a special inner beauty and grace in you! There was always this glow about you after that!!
Thanks so much for sharing this time with us with your blog. We really appreciate it!
Jeff and Darlene Bochman
Amy and Angie,
It comforts me to think of "see ya later" and not good bye.
It comforts me to know that the Lord is intimately acqauinted with the pain of separation and He longs for us to bring Him our pain so He can carry it.
On the days when it seems another step is just too much to take, He somehow gets me through.
I am trying to learn not to let regret, guilt or grief rob me of blessings from the Lord in the present moment. I don't do it well, but the Lord is so gracious to come to my rescue.
And He will carry you now also.
That doesn't mean there will be no tears, no sadness, no questions, it just means He will be near and real.
It has been a blessing to know Dale and Amy. The impact on my son Thad is immeasurable. To see how a man who loves Jesus walks, and talks and lives...not perfectly, but humbly in need of the Savior daily.
I know Jesus better because of Dale and Amy.
And I'm forever grateful.
I've been thinking about heaven...and wondering, if Dale is not bound by time, as there are no time limits in heaven, (at least I do not think there are), will it seem but a moment till we are all there, praising the One who died so we can live????
Carrying you in my heart always,
Terri Vettrus
well, i'm too sad right now to say much, but i will tell you that i'm so glad you ran to the gravel pit (and up the gravel pile for my mom!) to watch a sunset. When tim and i came to visit dale and mom before he got too sick, we enjoyed walking in the gravel pits everyday (as did our dog, sawyer). tim even found an abandoned, smashed-in car there ... not something you expect to see in the northwoods.
just like chelle said in her comment, i've been telling stories about dale to people all day today. i remember how bad my attitude was at my mom and dale's wedding but that when dale sang to my mom, it made me cry. i knew then that he would be a very good husband, and he was. I'm glad that I got a chance to say goodbye to him.
The most difficult part of grieving is the fact that NOTHING fills the empty hole that remains when someone we love dies. The void becomes a hallowed spot in our heart, filled with memories and longing for the future. And, we must accept that. The mysterious and glorious thing about being a Christian is the wonderful fact is the oneness we have with other Christians in Christ--not only with those who are on earth and alive, but with those precious ones who crossed the great divide. They too, are in Christ, and through our blessed Savior, we still share a fellowship of sorts with our wonderful Savior. They have completed the race; we are still running in ours. And, they cheer us on as the "great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12)."
Dale is so very much alive and in Christ. We have the fact of this to give us the joy we need to fill the void.
God bless you, dear one, as you keep "pressing on for the goal of the high calling in Christ." Dale IS proud of you!
Your friend,
Sam Wood
Amy & Angie:
Words are powerful but there are no words that can express my feelings and thoughts about Pastor Dale. He answered a call to Friendship Church in Sept of 1992. When there were very few people who called our church home and the congregation offerings were small – the money was very uncertain. But he always told me that he knew God wanted him in Mondovi.
Few Mondovi area people knew of Friendship Church when he came but the entire community had been touched by Pastor Dale by the time he left in May of 2005. He made a gigantic Christian impact on the community and Mondovi is a much better city today because of him. It made no difference who you were – he had time for everyone.
I was so touched by his compassion and love for the group home people. He told me many times about the hours of labor these folks contributed in the building of our new church in 1995-96.
I will always remember the many 2 ½ hour luncheons we had at the Yenking Restaurant (usually 3 trips through the buffet). He encouraged me to keep following my own 6 words of advice –“Don’t Ever Learn How to Quit” and to write a book about it. He taught me patience, to always tell the truth, and that everyone is somebody’s mom or dad, brother or sister, aunt or uncle, or best friend. Pastor Dale helped me learn to take time for people – that yesterday is a cancelled check and tomorrow a promissory note. (Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.)
Pastor Dale also counseled me on how to deal with the greed and jealousy that are part of the network marketing industry. “Be patient, be grateful, and be a good listener,” he would say.
We also had some great relaxing times together- a Nutrition For Life rally in Toronto, Canada; a Detroit Tigers baseball game in Detroit; and King Salmon fishing in Alaska. That man could really fish and hunt!!
And what a Christian influence he was to the hundreds of Nutrition For Life Distributors who attended Friendship Church on our special Sunday each summer. Pres. David Bertrand and VP Jana Mitcham always asked about Pastor Dale and the Hawaiian distributors called him the Chaplain of “NFL.”
And I’ll never forget the accident on my birthday (6/11/00) when Mike Richard from Canada was T-boned by a boat while riding the Sea-Doo. Within minutes Pastor Dale & Amy were at Luther Hospital and spent several hours there each day. As Mike went through a 5 week coma, lung failure, heart stoppage, and almost bleeding to death several times – God performed a miracle with Mike Richard - but I don’t know how we could have got through this ordeal without the prayers and thoughtful & comforting words of Pastor Dale & Amy. He has also made a major Christian impact on many people in Red Deer, Alberta, Canada.
Pastor Dale and I met privately for the last time in late April, 2005 at Famous Dave’s Restaurant. Again, he felt God had called him to Iron River. Oh, how I hated to see him leave but then I realized how much better off Friendship Church was in April of 2005 than it was when Pastor Dale came in Sept of 1992. It sure didn’t seem like it had been almost 13 years. Time goes by so fast. And I’m sure he made a major impact in Iron River in his short time in that community.
I’ll really miss Pastor Dale – but Friendship Church will always be a reminder to the good times I’ve shared with my Pastor, Friend and Lunch Buddy.
Dayle & Jeannine Maloney
Hi Amy and Angie
Thanks for all your writings and pictures. We are happy that we came on Sunday to see Dale, he will be missed, he was a wonderful person. We are proud to have known him. Amy it was very nice to see you and visit with you. All our love. Jesse, Lisa, and Danielle Hanson
Hello Amy and Angie:
I was so sorry to hear of Dale's illness and now his passing. I want to express to you both my heart felt sympathy and know that I so appreciated Dale's kindness and tenderness over the years. Amy, I saw you and Dale at Younker's a few months back...it was a God send and his comments to me were such a wonderful help. You made a cute couple and I will always be thankful for the friendship.
Just wanted to give you an inside story of Dale at my home some 20+ years ago. He was at my home in Menomonie and hadn't know him long. When He came in he went directly to my refrigerator, opened it up and began asking what was there!! He laughed and I was always impressed with his way of taking the edge off a situation. He was a kind, caring and sensitive person who I am thankful had crossed my path.
I pray God will give you the strength to go through the difficult days ahead and that the wonderful memories you have will bring you comfort and peace.
God Bless,
Joan
8/24/2006
Post a Comment